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Archive for August, 2009

Unsticking the Stuck

My life has changed so much in the last several months that sometimes it feels like my brain cannot catch up with it. And though so many of the changes are good, my body and mind seem to still be coming to grips with the transition. I find myself alternately elated and…..off kilter. Like the spinning top that is the essence of me suddenly and abruptly changed direction and began spinning another way, and I am still trying to steady myself into an appropriate rhythm with it all. I had grown so used to the super-duper extra-confident me – – the me who had it all figured out. And thinking you have it all figured out is always the first sign that you’re about to get kicked quite soundly and succinctly in the ass. So discovering that there are these other facets to me – – not all of them necessarily flattering – – is both humbling and slightly tiresome. However, I feel myself weathering the storm, and moving down the path toward a steady me again.

All this melodramatic prose is to say that I have felt stuck of late with my writing and creativity. It’s in there – – I can feel it – – and I have much to say. But it feels like it’s behind a wall of introspection that is only just beginning to ease. I have hit places like this before, and I know they will pass – – but it does unsettle me when it happens. Transition is a good thing, but it is not always comfortable to go through – – we all like to feel we are in control, and when we begin to feel out of control, well…that’s when sense of self can get a little Wonky.

“Wonky” is a widely accepted, clinical term within the Psychological Community, by the way. You heard it here first. Not to be confused with “Crazy” – – – or in the case of Britney Spears when she shaved her head and starting beating a Paparazzi’s car with her umbrella in a frenzy of four letter expletives – – “Crazy Lady from Crazyville on Planet Crazydom”. No, contrary to what one might think when reading through all my past blog posts, I don’t live there. I sometimes drive by there, yes, but I don’t take the exit ramp.

So – – all this to say – – if I don’t put up many posts in August, you now know why. But September? I’m thinking September’s just GOT to be the month when I’m bringing Zany back.

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